


Chances Taken With Care

by Inkbloodpaperandbone



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Basically I want something like the Grant/Nash family, Buddie is going to happen, But I want Eddie to have closure with Shannon first, But with Eddie Shannon Christopher and Buck, Characters tagged will all appear at some point, Couples Counseling, Divorce, Fix-It, I don't like the way Shannon was killed off, Multi, Shannon ships buddie, Slow Burn, Therapy, eventually, more tags to come, so i'm changing that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23986276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkbloodpaperandbone/pseuds/Inkbloodpaperandbone
Summary: Fix it for ShannonIt happens so quickly.There's the sound brakes squealing, metal against metal, shattering glass.Shannon Diaz doesn't see the car that hits her. One second she's walking across the road, the next she several feet for where she'd been, crumpled on the hot tarmac like a puppet with its strings cut.Or I'm decided Shannon doesn't die and how that changes things.
Relationships: Eddie Diaz & Shannon Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a thing I've been working on. I really felt like Shannon could have been a great complex character and that the show could have explored a lot with her especially after watching Eddie Begins and getting more context as to how Shannon and Eddie's relationship broke down.
> 
> I don't agree/like at all with how Shannon left Eddie and most importantly Christopher but from very personal reasons that I'm not going to share I have grown up around parental figures who couldn't handle being parents and either left or struggled to provide stable care for their children who later got help and have since done so much to become better parents and people.  
> I'm not saying that it fixes anything that they did (certainly didn't for me) and this is most definitely some wish fulfilment on my part that I'm projecting on to these fictional characters.
> 
> Anyway I'm aware that Shannon is a controversial character and if you don't like her that's totally valid but please don't send me hate for this.  
> This is the first fic I've ever got anywhere with and I'm proud of it okay.
> 
> If you like it or want to discuss something please send me a comment.

It happens so quickly.  
There's the sound brakes squealing, metal against metal, shattering glass.  
Shannon Diaz doesn't see the car that hits her. One second she's walking across the road, the next she several feet for where she'd been, crumpled on the hot tarmac like a puppet with its strings cut.

Shannon rolls herself onto her side, then slowly with what feels like an herculean effort she pushes herself up into a sitting position. Her face shrunches up in pain as she tries to breathe as normally as possible but her right side aches sharply.  
Sqinting down on herself, Shannon can see that her right leg is definitely broken below the knee.  
Her stomach rolls.

Now people are shouting, but Shannon can't make out what their saying.  
Her ears are ringing. Shannon brings a hand up to her forehead. The cut on her head stings, her fingers come back bloody.  
It's hard to tell how much time passes. Minutes maybe.

Fate must be laughing at her because of course it's Eddie's team that arrives on the scene.  
Shannon can see him.  
Eddie jumps out of the ladder truck with practiced ease, quickly making his way over to one of the cars along with a tall blond firefighter.

It's said firefighter that spots her. Shannon can see him say something to Eddie and then her husband is looking straight at her.  
His face pales.  
Then Eddie's up and moving away for the vehicle towards her.

'Shannon? Shannon!' 

Eddie drops down in front of her, eyes darting back and forth no doubt taking stock of any apparent injuries. He's visibly tense, hands coming up to rest lightly on Shannon's biceps keeping her upright and steady.  
It's funny Eddie is so close now but he still looks a little blurry around the edges. Blood from the cut on her forehead has started to drip down into her eyes. Shannon trys to pay attention to what he's saying.  
"-ey, hey. Look at me. I got you. You're going to be okay, I got you."

Some paramedics join them and take over. They seem nice.  
Shannon thinks she recognises them from the time she took Christopher to visit Eddie when his friend with the odd nickname was in the hospital. She can't really remember their names. Eddie probably told her but then again he might not have. Besides from sending time with Chris their interactions have been more physical than anything else.

That's a problem isn't it.  
They're still not talking. Not really.

With her leg splinted and neck collared Shannon is loaded into the ambulance.  
Then Eddie climbs in after her.

"Everything is going to be alright Shannon. I promise." He tells her.  
Each bump and jostle of the ambulance makes Shannon feels sick and dizzy with pain. Eddie sits beside her, shoulders still tensed, eyes focused on a spot above her head.

It takes what feels like hours to arrive at the nearest hospital. The hand over is quick and confusing. Shannon is transferred from one gurney to another and whisked away to be examined.  
She tries to look back and spot Eddie but the damn neck brace keeps her head forward.  
The hospital is so loud and bright.  
Shannon is placed on a bed and her doctor who introduces herself as Dr Walden is a short overly cheery woman with curly greying hair.

Over the next few hours Shannon is taken from one room to the next. X-rayed here, waits for results there. Given anesthesia by a nurse and watchs numbly as the doctors set her broken leg and place it in a clunky blue brace.  
In the end Shannon is exhausted, the days events seem to finally catch up with her.  
The stitches on her head feel itchy and the brace is uncomfortable.  
All Shannon wants is to go home and sleep but Dr Walden is determined to keep her in for observation over night.

"It's best to be safe than sorry I'm afraid. Concussions are a tricky business." The doctor explains before leaving Shannon in the care of the ward nurse.  
The nurse putters around for a little bit, he checks her IV and helps her sit up when she asks him.  
After confirming Shannon is as comfortable as she could get, he wanders out of the room to check in on the other patients.

Another nurse comes up to her bed some time later.  
"You've got some visitors if you feel up to it" she states, smiling softly.  
Shannon tries to smile back but her face feels sore and stiff, so it's more of a grimace than anything else.  
"Uh, yes that'd be- that'd be fine thank you."

The nurse leaves, presumably to fetch her guests and Shannon waits in the semi-quiet of the room. She fiddles with the god awful gown she'd been given and allows herself to wonder what happened to her clothes. And her purse. Did her phone survive the accident or is it lying in the road somewhere all cracked and busted beyond repair. But if that's the case better the phone the her though.

Suddenly Shannon is struck be the thought of what could have been. The car could have hit her straight on she could have landed head first and have died right there in the street.

She could have died and she'd never see Christopher again. She'd never get to make up for all the time she was gone. She'd never be able to explain why. She'd never see her baby grow up.

Then she thinks of Eddie. He would have see her die. Just days after she'd told him that she wanted a divorce. Days after telling him she wasn't pregnant. Oh god how she was glad she hadn't been pregnant.  
Just as the panic rises up her throat the most wonderful voice in the world cries out.

"Mommy!"  
Shannon looks up from her lap and all those anxious thoughts fade out as her beautiful boy comes barreling into the room, crutches click-clacking on the vinyl floor.

"Christopher!"

"Whoah Chris! Slow down buddie."  
It's Eddie, and he's still wearing his uniform, so he must have gone straight to pick their son up from school and then here to the hospital to see her. It makes Shannon's heart swell. Behind Eddie by a few steps is the tall blond firefighter Shannon remembers from the accident. She knows she's seen him once or twice but his name escapes her.

"Mommy, Dad said you got hurt but that you're okay. You are okay right?" Christopher peers up at her from the side of her bed.  
Shannon tries to smile and lifts a hand to the soft curls adorning her son's head.  
"I'm okay Christopher. I promise."

Christopher nods solemnly, "Cuz, Dad and Buck saved you right?"  
Buck? Is that the blond firefighters name? Does everyone Eddie works with have odd nicknames?  
"Yes Chris, Daddy and his friends saved me" Shannon runs her fingers through his hair.

Eddie clears his throat. "Buck drove us here, I couldn't get my car to start and he offered instead of having me wait for an Uber." Eddie gestures over to Buck who gives a small wave.  
She looks up at Eddie, but he's watching their son with such a fond expression. 

It makes Shannon remember how easily she'd fallen in love with Eddie. It makes her think of how with all their history, the good days, the bad. All the fights and tears. All the kisses and love. Eddie enlisting and re-enlisting, when he finally came home, when she left. Reconnecting over Chris' school. Everything.  
It had all culminated to this moment where Shannon is sure that what she told Eddie during their last date was true.

She's not ready. Shannon wants. No needs to make it up to Christopher. She's needs to be stable enough to be the mother he deserves.  
She needs help.

"Hey, um Eddie can I talk to you." Shannon pauses," Um maybe- "she looks over to Buck who's still standing awkwardly a little ways off from the bed clearly unsure on what to do with himself.  
"Maybe Buck could take Christopher to get some hot chocolate or something."  
Buck nods quickly and moves over to Christopher offering his hand out.  
"Come on buddy, I think your mom and dad need some alone time."

Christopher looks up at his mother then to Buck and shuffles away from the bed, taking the offered hand.  
Both Shannon and Eddie watch the two walk away. Once they're out of view Shannon sighs and turns to her husband. She gestures to the chair by the bed. Eddie sits and immediately begins wringing his hands together.

Shannon takes a deep breath to gather herself before she speaks.  
"So the doctors say I've got a broken leg, some bruising to my ribs and a mild concussion.  
They want to keep me over night for observation and I'm going to be on crutches for a while."  
As she speaks Shannon watches how Eddie's posture becomes more relaxed, he doesn't ease up completely but there's a definite loosening around his shoulders and jaw.  
Shannon steels herself for what she has to say next.

"Eddie I meant what I said the other night. I want a divorce. I'm not ready to be the mom Christopher needs. There's so much I have to sort out first. I don't want to leave again, I'm not going to but I've pushed down all these thoughts and feelings for years and the last time I couldn't cope I left and I couldn't find a way back."

Shannon pauses catching her breath fighting to keep the tears that are selling up in her eyes at bay. Eddie's watching her, his face closed off. His knuckles have gone white as his hands are coiled in tight fists in his lap.  
It's different than when they'd fight before and it would get so loud with the two of them shouting at each other and never getting anywhere. Just circling the same old insults and resentments.  
But now Eddie is quiet and Shannon is thankful for that even if the only reason that no shouting match has broken out is because they're in a hospital ward and it's a sure fire way of getting him kicked out.  
"Eddie?"  
He lets out a long sigh.  
"So you want to be Christopher's mom?

"Yes"

"And you're not going to leave again?"

"No Eddie that's the last thing I want."

"But you don't want me."Shannon can hear the way his voice cracks as Eddie says it and her heart breaks.

"Eddie... Can you honestly tell me that us falling back into bed together the way we have is healthy. Haven't we even talked about any of this, not properly. About being together, about how we feel about each other. About anything, your work even. I could barely remember the names of any of your colleagues today, and the only reason I've met any of them at all was when I took Chris to you when your friend was in the hospital.  
We need to find a way to communicate that doesn't evolve getting angry or having sex."

It's a harsh truth and one Shannon knows the two of them had been ignoring since that kiss in the parking lot of Christopher's school.  
They'd been going round and round in circles these past few months, going through the motions tiptoeing around the elephant in the room.

"So what, we just give up on us then." Eddie all but hisses, he sounds angry but Shannon can see how sad his eyes are.  
"No, but maybe we should get some counselling before any decisions are made. Eddie, I love you. I don't want to lose you but please we have to do this the right way now."

It hurts, it hurts so much and when Eddie nods in agreement it feels like the end of something big.  
Shannon isn't sure what it's the end of and a large part of her is too scared to find out what.

They look at each other for a moment, before Eddie stands.  
"Can I hug you, it's just I'm really glad you're okay." Eddie's so nervous it reminds Shannon of how he'd stood in the doorway of her parents house in El Paso on the night of their first date.  
Shannon nods, her throat feels so thick she can't trust herself to speak.

Eddie sits himself on the edge of her bed carefully not to jostle Shannon to much as he leans down to wrap his arms gently around her shoulders. Shannon arms come up around Eddie waist. She holds on as tightly as she can and tucks her head into his chest listening to her husband's heartbeat. Eddie presses his face into the crook between her neck and shoulder.  
Shannon can feel wetness sprend through the hospital gown as Eddie cries quietly, his whole body shuddering against her good side.

They stay like that for a while. Embracing one another in a way they haven't done since before Christopher was born. It gives Shannon hope that they'll come out of this mess okay.  
Eventually though Eddie pulls away and tries to cover up the fact that he's wiping the tears from his face by pretending to catch a cough with the inside of his elbow.

There's an awkwardness to the room now but Shannon can't help but feel light than she has in a very long time.  
Eddie coughs again and shuffles his feet.  
"I'll text Buck and ask him to bring Christopher back."  
Shannon smiles and watches him.  
It turns out that Buck and Christopher had somehow managed to find the biggest get well soon card and matching balloon in the hospital gift shop. Christopher carries them towards his mother with the huge proud grin when the two make it back to Shannon's room.  
Buck as he had before hangs back by the doorway holding a small tray with several steaming styrofoam cups.

Eddie goes over to his friend and takes two of the cups before returning back to his chair at the bed side.  
Eddie takes a long sip of one as he hands Shannon the other. She takes it and looks down into the cup to see hot chocolate. She smiles and take a sip of her own. It's not bad, a little too sweet maybe but better than she could expect from a hospital cafeteria. Christopher begins to attempt to clamber up onto the bed beside Shannon. The sides are a bit too high and before anyone can say anything Buck is already striding across the room.  
He quickly places the tray with the remaining cups on the little table and moves to lift Christopher up onto the bed next to his mother.  
"Here you go buddy."

Christopher smiles up at him and Shannon is taken back at how at ease her son is with this man. She looks over to Eddie who is watching the whole scene with another fond soft look.  
Shannon notices that Eddie's eyes seem to linger on his friend, tracing the strong lines of his body with his eyes.  
"Do you like your card mommy, Buck helped me pick." Christopher chatters excited holding out to her. It's all pastel pink and purple with baby blue bubble writing and there's an image of a teddy bear holding a large daisy.  
Shannon takes the card, opening it to see Christopher's wobbly handwriting and reads  
'I love you mommy! Get better Chris xxx'.

"Oh Christopher I love it thank you sweetheart."  
She gasps happily, wrapping her arm around her son's shoulders hugging him close.  
"Why don't you tell me about your day hey honey I bet that'll help me feel better." She tells Chris tickling his tummy, treasuring the sound of his giggles before he launches into a very detailed description of what's Chris had done that day at school.

Eddie gets up and gestures for Buck to follow him outside.  
Shannon watches them from over the top of Christopher's head before turning her attention back to her son as he explains the importance of his usage of the right green crayon during his art class.

Shannon nuzzles the top of her son's head breathing the sweet scent of kiddies shampoo and Christopher natural clean smell that reminds her so much of when he was a baby.

Shannon knows, she knows she'd done wrong by Christopher by leaving the way she did. And there hasn't been a day that went by since that she hadn't thought about it and regretted it so deeply in her soul.  
When she left she'd been so overwhelmed with guilt over Chris' birth, anger towards Eddie leaving for Afghanistan, constantly scared that she wasn't doing enough under the watchful eyes of her in-laws and - and no Shannon going down this spiral again not now, not today.

She squeezes Christopher tighter to her and takes his little hands in her own, slotting their fingers together. Shannon smiles against the top of his head and wills herself to relax.  
One of the ward nurses pops her head in through the doorway.  
"I'm afraid visiting hours are up now" she smiles apologetically before leaving.  
Eddie and Buck wander back in seconds later. They both stand so close to each other that their arms press against the other. Shannon can't help but take note of it, Eddie has never in all the time she's known him, be one to be so physically close to any of his friends for no reason.

"Time to go Christopher." Eddie moves to pick their son up from the bed.  
"No! I want to stay with Mommy!" Christopher whines and grips on to Shannon's gown.  
"Hey, Christopher. It's okay." Shannon soothes as she attempts to pull his hands away.

Chris shakes his head and lets his body go limp. The sudden dead weight make Eddie stumble.  
Shannon recognises the start tantrum. It's Buck that manages to defuse the situation before it can get that far. He comes up to the over side of the bed and crouches down so that he's eye level with the now sobbing boy.  
"Hey Chris. I know you want to stay with your mom but we gotta go so I can take you and your dad home okay? I tell you what I'm pretty sure I can convince your dad to let us get some pizza and ice cream, then you can draw some pictures for your mom huh. And tomorrow we can come back so you can give them to her," Bucks looks to Shannon, "that'd be okay right Shannon?"

"Of course it would."  
Christopher looks between Buck and his mom and sighs heavily.  
"Okkkaaayyy" he drags out and leans up to kiss Shannon on the cheek before relenting to his dad picking him up. Eddie deposits Christopher by the bedside and hands him his crutches.  
Shannon mouths a thank you to Buck as Chris' back is turned and watches the three make their way out the door. 

Buck and Chris turn back to wave and Eddie lets them leave before him. As Buck passes Eddie claps a hand on his shoulder. He lets it linger there for a moment and Shannon thinks she see Eddie stroke his thumb over the exposed skin of his friend's neck before letting go.

Walking back over to Shannon, Eddie pauses then reaches to take her hand. He squeezes like he did the day they sat down both of their parents to tell them Shannon was pregnant. They smile at one another and Shannon squeezes back.

"We'll see you tomorrow. Get some rest."

Shannon waits until he's just out of the door then calls out to him.  
"Eddie. Think about what I said okay."

Eddie doesn't respond other than ducking his head before continuing his exit.  
When all three are out of her sight Shannon lets her head drop back on to the pillows behind her.  
It's only then that Shannon finally let's the physical and emotional weight of the day go that she truly feels just how exhausted she is.  
Eyes sliping closed, Shannon is asleep in seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have noticed in the first chapter teeny tiny hints at buddie. Well so has Shannon only she hasn't really realized just yet.
> 
> Anyway this chapter has some warnings in place.  
> Discussions on depression, suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced self-harm (skin picking) and abandonment. If these are triggering for you I have tried my best to keep it marked with ****1 at the beginning and ****2 at the end. These are vague descriptions and whilst this section has important details to the plot you can skip through.

Weeks pass by without much incident.  
But after that day in the hospital things had changed between Shannon and Eddie. Changed in ways that were both big and small.

Firstly, when Shannon approaches Eddie with an appointment with a couples counseling services Eddie excepts with little argument. To say this shocks Shannon is an understatement. Eddie has never ever been one to speak to anyone about his feels unless under strict duress. But Shannon leaves that thought to herself. Not when this strange truce between them is still so fragile and new. 

Secondly, Eddie's friend Buck becomes a regular feature in conversations with both the Diaz boys. It's clear that Christopher adores him and Eddie can't really tell Shannon about his job without including his partner, his new brother-in-arms, his best friend. It obvious that Eddie and Christopher spend a lot of time with Buck, more so than Shannon.

It leaves a small twist in her stomach, a cold jealousy that Shannon tries her best to ignore.  
But she can remember the time when Eddie would have told anyone who'd listen that Shannon was his best friend and the loss of that title - though completely expected after years of turmoil and radio silence - stings.

Despite this and despite that they were technically beginning divorce proceedings Shannon couldn't help but feel closer to Eddie than before.  
It had been agreed that they were not going to have sex with each other. The conversation had left them both red faced like embarrassed teenagers and an awkward tension had hung around for several days afterwards.

But things were going well. And Shannon finds herself booking an appointment with a therapist motivated by a heady mixture of long steeped guilt and the lust for life only getting hit by a car could give to take the first terrifying steps forwards.

Christopher seems to be having the time of his life, unaware of it all. When Shannon had been released from the hospital Eddie and Chris had greeted her in the reception.  
He'd been so excited to see her, gleefully proclaiming that he and his mommy matched as Shannon now would be using crutches to get around as her leg healed.  
And since Shannon couldn't work with her currently limited mobility she was alternating her time between her house and Eddie's and his abuela's.

She and also begun to strike up a friendship with Christopher's care aid, Carla.

Carla is a god send. She didn't pry into the complicated web that was Shannon and Eddie's relationship. Nor did she say anything about Shannon leaving her family although Shannon knows that Carla is on Eddie's side.  
Carla had been Eddie's friend first and had been privy to Eddie's life in L.A. for months which meant she'd probably already made up her mind about Shannon long before she'd arrived on the scene.

But Shannon understands why everyone has reservations. She has plenty of her own.

On the third Friday after the accident Shannon and Eddie have their first meeting with a counselor.  
Shannon barely sleeps at all the night before.  
It's like she's been trying to walk through a mine field one wrong step and all the good will gets blown sky high. And today could definitely become that explosion if this appointment doesn't go well.

Since she can't wear trousers with the cast Shannon looks through her wardrobe at her skirts and dresses.  
A yellow sundress with the flowers catches her eye and she's halfway pulling it off the hanger before she realises that it's the same dress she wore the day she and Eddie kissed at Chris' school.  
The memory all but gives Shannon whiplash. She puts it back quickly and moves on to a simple light blouse and shin length skirt. It's a smart, practical outfit that definitely doesn't have any kind of emotional baggage.

The appointment is at four and Shannon had been carefully to book it on a day Eddie had said he wasn't working.  
Eddie had told her that he would be picking Shannon up round half two at the latest to allow for both the journey to the opposite side of the city and the high risk of getting stuck in after school L.A. traffic.

When the doorbell rings at a quarter past two Shannon hobbles down the entryway corridor on her crutches, stopping quickly to grab her purse that sat on entrance cabinet.

It's not the same purse she'd had with her on the day of the accident.  
Shannon had been given that one back at the hospital as she was discharged along with her phone that despite a single crack to the screen had survived the ordeal. But Shannon had found that just looking at that damn thing made her feel jumpy. She'd thrown it to the back of her closet the moment she got home and it had been there ever since.

After checking herself over in the hallway mirror and deeming herself presentable Shannon opens the door.

Eddie's waiting patiently, looking down at his phone smiling.

"Hey."  
He looks up, "Uh hi, sorry Buck just sent me a picture of him and Chris. He offered to take him to the park whilst we're at the appointment since Carla had to get home early this afternoon."  
Eddie holds his phone out so Shannon can see the aforementioned photo. It's a selfie, Buck must be holding the phone, his and Christopher's faces are smushed together cheek to cheek.  
Chris'glasses have been knocked slightly and are now slanted across his nose.  
Both are grinning wildly.

Shannon smiles and let's Eddie take the phone back. "They seem like they're having fun."

When they reach Eddie's car he opens the door and holds Shannon's crutches as she manoeuvres herself into the front passenger seat. Shannon takes them back and slots them through the gap between seats letting them drop into the back.  
When they're both seated and seatbelted Eddie pauses for a moment, with both hands on the steering wheel and turns to face her.  
"Are you ready for this?"  
"Honestly no." Shannon laughs nervously.  
Eddie starts the car.  
"Yeah. Me neither."

The couples counselor's office is nice.

Nice in the way hotel rooms are nice. All cream walls, cushy seats, stock photos hung up in plain frames and large floor to ceiling windows.  
The layout of the furniture keeps the client and counselor seating arranged so there's a deliberate separation between each other without it being to on the nose.  
Behind the desk are several framed PhDs pride of place directly in sight of any guests.

The therapist is a petite older woman, probably late 40s early 50s. Impeccably dressed without a hair out of place she introduces herself as Dr Jane Howards with a smile full of hollywood white teeth.  
Shannon can't help but feel intimidated despite the woman's seemingly pleasent demeanor.

With introductions made Dr Howards -call me Jane - delves straight to business.

"Now which one of you would like to begin in explaining what has lead to you coming here today, Shannon?"

Shannon glances quickly at Eddie who shrugged and waves a hand in her direction.  
She takes a long shaley breath and begins.

****1

"If I'm honest it all probably started around the time I got pregnant with our son, Christopher. We had only been married a little while and I don't think either of us really knew what we were getting into. When I found out I was pregnant I could tell Eddie was nervous, but so was I so I pushed it aside and we told our families and continued the pregnancy." Shannon stops.

Already Shannon's eyes are beginning to tear up, her chest tight and Eddie takes her hand squeezing slightly.

She attempts to take several calming breathes and continue.  
"The preg - the pregnancy was - was normal and the - and then... "Her voice breaks off and Shannon turns to Eddie for help.

He strokes his thumb across the knuckles of her hand and takes over from where she'd left off.

"When Shannon went into labor there where complications and our son got stuck and was starved of oxygen. Christopher was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy when he was about one."

Shannon pulls her hand away from Eddie and clutches at the fabric of her skirt that covers her thighs. She looks down briefly at the mismatch of her shoe and brace. 

Dr Howards gives a few affirmative noises as she writes done something on her notepad before holding out at tissue to Shannon who takes it and dabs quickly at her eyes.

"I struggled with becoming a father," Eddie continues, "I guess I don't have the greatest point of reference with my own, and when we started to notice Chris was different I panicked. Re-enlisted without telling Shannon." 

Shannon let's out a bitter laugh.  
"I hated you for it. I needed you. Christopher needed you." Shannon doesn't dare look at her husband as years old anger and resentment sweep into her voice. She looks past Dr Howards' shoulder and begins unconsciously ripping up the tissue in her lap.

"I regret it. I'll never get back the time I missed, and I told myself what I was doing was right. That I was providing for my family in the only way I could think of that would cover the cost of Christopher's treatments and surgeries.  
I ran away from my son into a fucking war zone. You think I didn't hate myself too." Eddie's voice becomes defensive.  
"Besides I wasn't the only one to run away."

"My mother was sick!"

"And I had just come back from seeing my friends being torn to pieces by bullets and sharpnel!"

And just like that they could have been back in El Paso, nearly three year ago, voices and tempers raising. Dr Howards obviously experienced in defusing arguments is quick to interject.

"Clearly there is a lot of resentment and feelings of abandonment for each of you in regards to the other. Now I am not passing any judgement on either one of you. I am are here to help you."

Dr Howards makes a sweeping motion with her hands.  
"Please continue."

Eddie clenches and unclenches his jaw, Shannon watches the muscles in his face tick. 

"I came back Shannon, and I was trying so hard. Everyone wanted to praise me on being a hero for what happened when my chopper got hit. But all I wanted was to start being the dad to Chris needed me to be and leave all the rest behind. I just needed time to adjust to being home being a parent. I stepped up after you left. I just needed time."  
There's a desperate edge to his voice that is so vunerable Shannon stares at him. It's like looking at a stranger which almost makes it easier.

"Some days I just wanted to sleep and never wake up." Shannon whispers. 

"Some days I'd drop Christopher off at your parents' and drive around for hours and just cry. Even before you left I felt so numb at times it'd scare me. Then you when you did and I had to deal with all the doctor appointments, all the physio therapy, everything. Your parents where constantly berating me on every little thing I did with Chris. What clothes I bought for him, how I cooked and cleaned. How I decorated his bedroom. Nothing was right. I'd saved up for specialty sensory toys only for your mother to tell me she'd gotten better ones."

As she speaks Shannon begins to pick at her left forearm. Digging deep into the skin repeatedly as angry red welts began to form.

Shannon turns to Dr Howards.  
"When Eddie came home he was different, and I couldn't find it in myself to care. I was too stretched thin. My father contacted me, told me my mother was sick. I saw an out. I left."

Dr Howard settles back in her chair. She taps her pen against her notepad before looking down at her wrist watch.

"I know there is still a lot more than what you've both already told me but I'm afraid we're very close to running out of time today. I'd like for the two of you to reflect on what was said in this session. You don't necessarily have to discuss any of it outside of these sessions although I would advise you attempt continue with your honesty with one another. I'll book the next appointment for two weeks time and will send you both an email to confirm."

****2

Eddie stood up and held out a hand to help Shannon up.  
She took it and he kept her steady as she adjusted her crutches.

Dr Howards walked over to the door and held it open for the two to exit the room. She offered a quiet goodbye.

The journey back to the car was quiet.  
Just as he had when he'd picked Shannon up from her apartment, Eddie helps Shannon into the car.

Neither of them speak for awhile as Eddie drives back across town.

Then, "I'm sorry."  
Shannon whips her head round to look at Eddie who keeps his eyes on the road as he talks.  
"I never apologized for leaving. And I never really thought about how all I was leaving you with would have been like for you until after it was too late. I'm sorry."

"I know that it's hypocritical for me to be angry about Afghanistan." Shannon concedes. "You still phoned home and wrote while I just -"

"Left and cut off all communication"

Shannon hums.  
"I wrote a letter. To Christopher explaining why. Why I left, why I didn't come back. To say sorry for failing him. To say sorry to you." 

Shannon fiddles with the strap of her purse.  
The car comes to a stop at a red light. Eddie glances at his wife quickly before turning back to the road ahead. The light turns green. The car moves on. Shannon keeps watching his profile.  
Then he smiles.  
"I bet Buck has snuck Christopher some ice cream before dinner."

Shannon is taken back by the sudden change in topic.

"What?"

Eddie laughs,"Chris has got Buck wrapped around his little finger, I swear. It's kinda adorable how someone like Buck could be this huge sap with kids. Especially Christopher."

Shannon frowned, Eddie thought Buck was adorable? When did Eddie ever find any of his guy friends adorable.  
She keeps that to herself.

"You and Chris really like Buck, don't you." Shannon asks even though she knows the answer.

"Buck was the one to introduce me to Carla."

"I didn't know that, you never said."  
Eddie shrugs and pulls up to Shannon's apartment building.  
As Shannon makes a move to exit the car Eddie gently takes a hold of her wrist, stopping her.

"My end of probation ceremony is coming up in a couple of weeks. I know today wasn't all that pretty and my parents are going to be there but I would like it if you came. If you wanted to obviously. No pressure."  
Some of the unease left by the afternoons events fades at the invitation 

"I'd like that. Thank you."

Three days later and Shannon is spending the evening with Christopher and Eddie's aunt Pepa at her house. Eddie was currently on a twenty four hour shift and wouldn't be picking Christopher up until late tomorrow afternoon.

They're seated in Pepa's living room, Christopher is building what could ever be the leaning tower of Pisa or a rocket ship with Legos on the carpet.

The TV is on in the background. The local news station is playing, the volume low. All week the city had been on edge after several bombs had been delivered in packages to seemingly random people across L.A. every news station and outlet had been running a near nonstop coverage of the story.

Shannon was worried as everyone else was. No one knew where or when the next bomb would go off.

She knew Eddie was particularly on edge after his team had been the one to be called out on the first bombing.

But it was getting late and Shannon was worried about Christopher possibly having nightmares from overhearing the story so she stands picking up the remote to change the channel to something more age appropriate.

But fate wasn't done laughing at Shannon Diaz just yet.

Before she could press a single button a breaking news update flashed across the scene.

The scene switched from the news anchors in the studio to the live coverage. 

An attractive woman with red hair stood before the camera. 

"This is Taylor Kelly live here on the scene of the latest in a wave of bombings that has gripped Los Angeles this past week -"

The camera panned out over her shoulder.

"- It seems that the bomb had some how been planted on on the fire truck which then detonated just moments ago -"

The camera slides over the wreckage.

" - I can confirm that the vehicle in question was a ladder truck belonging to station house 118 and that a firefighter has pinned beneath it- "

The 118. That was Eddie station. 

Eddie

"- Wait! It seems that we now have a hostage situation as it appears that the bomber is standing beside the truck and is threatening to detonate more bombs -"

Shannon drops the remote.

She can't breathe.

She can't.

"Eddie!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments and interest in this fic it means a lot. More than you could possibly know.
> 
> I'm sorry for the wait.  
> This has been a difficult chapter to write.  
> I had a definite plan on how I thought it was going to go but then it started to run away from me.  
> And then I lost nearly half the chapter and had to rewrite it.  
> But it's finished and chapter four is in progress which will hopefully not take forever like this one.

Shannon had nearly broken Eddie's hand whilst giving birth to Christopher.

She'd been in labour for nearly eleven hours by this point and had finally be given the go ahead by the obstetrician to begin pushing.

Eddie, who had been buddled into scrubs complete with a hat and blue rubber gloves had given her his hand and began attempting to go through those blasted breathing exercises from the prenatal class. She'd screamed at him to shut up.  
Each contraction was more painful than the last and she really couldn't be blamed for any lack of patience.

Shannon was already running on pure adrenaline when everything went horribly devistating wrong.

She could tell immediately when Christopher got stuck and knew before anyone could explain what was happening.  
The panic and gutt reaching fear that her baby was in danger of suffocating inside her that Shannon had squeezed down instinctively on Eddie's hand to the point she could feel the bones grind and crunch together.

But Eddie hadn't said a word and had just kept gripping his wife's hand.

It was only later he'd mentioned it.  
When Christopher was finally out and safe and breathing.  
When the umbilical cord had been cut, and this little body, all pink and wrinkly was placed skin to skin on Shannon's chest, did Eddie say anything at all about his hand. Which by then had already started to swell and bruise quite badly.

Eddie was rushed away for an x-ray and returned with his hand bandaged and iced.  
And afterwards when their family would come by to see the baby the whole incident would become a joke. A funny little anecdote to be told a get togethers over a couple of beers.  
How Shannon had crushed Eddie's hand.

Now over seven years later Shannon watches the live coverage of firefighters, police officers and civilians alike coming together to lift the fire engine off of an unidentified man that Shannon is one hundred percent sure is Eddie. 

She should have known with how well things had been going since her accident that her good luck would run out eventually.

For a moment watching it all unfold on the television screen, Shannon floats above her body untethered sailing ever higher like a balloon, when a small frightened voice brings her crashing down.

"Mommy?"  
Shannon turns to Christopher who is still sitting on the carpet surrounded by Lego.  
"Is it daddy?"

The realisation that Chris has seen and heard and understood enough of what was happening shocks Shannon into action.  
She falls to her knees- which causes her bad leg to protest in agony - and cradles her son's face with her hands, moving his head to look at her, at only her and not the television.

"Chris look at me," he shakes his head, trying to pull away, "look at my baby."

"No!" His hands come up to claw at Shannon's, "no I want daddy!"

"Chris-" Shannon tries but Christopher is quickly becoming more and more distraught and starts slapping at her, tears streaming down his face.

"I want daddy! I want my daddy! I want my daddy!" 

Pepa comes rushing into the room and quickly sweeps Christopher into her arms.  
She rocks back and for as Chris' words become unintelligible sobs.

Shannon falls backwards onto her behind and sits body curling up into herself and begins to cry too.  
Or maybe she was already crying.  
Either way she's useless, what kind of mother is unable to comfort her own child?

The three of them stay as they are for an unknown period of time.  
Eventually Christopher cries himself into exhaustion and Pepa carries him into the guest room.  
She returns a few minutes later to find Shannon quietly packing away the discarded Lego piece by piece. It's a mindless monotonous task, one Pepa leaves her to as she herself heads to the kitchen.

Shannon numbly takes in the sounds of a kettle boiling and teaspoons clicking against porcelain cups.  
When Pepa comes back she holds to steaming cups of tea.

Shannon shuffles across the floor to the couch and uses it to pull herself up.  
The two women sit there and silently drink.  
Pepa finishes first. She sets her empty cup on the coffee table and turns to her niece in law.

"You should phone Eddie. See if he's okay."

Shannon's head snaps up.  
"What if he doesn't answer, what if he can't what if -"

Pepa hold up a hand to silence her and looks her sternly in the eye.

"We don't know who was hurt. It very well could be that Eddie is fine. And right now the best way for us to find out anything is for you to phone him."

Shannon nods unable to trust herself to speak. She reaches over to the table at the side of the couch where her purse has sat forgotten and takes out her phone.  
She stares a the crack on the screen before unlocking it and starts to scroll down her recent contacts list for Eddie's phone number.

Before she can press the call button the screen blights up with an incoming call.  
Caller ID says Eddie in capital letters.

Shannon answers in a heartbeat.

"Eddie?"  
Across from her Pepa lights up in relief.  
"Shannon -"  
Eddie are you okay? We saw the news! Where are you? Wh -"  
"Shannon! Shannon, I'm fine I'm, I'm at the hospital-  
"Where, which one? Are you hurt? I saw the news I thought it was you."  
Over the phone she can hear Eddie breathing and it music to her ears.  
"It wasn't me. It was. It. It was Buck. And it's bad Shannon," Eddie's voice is trembling," it's really bad and he's in surgery and we don't know what happening and and..."  
The phone goes quiet. It goes quiet long enough Shannon just about starts to think Eddie has hung up when he speaks again.  
"The team and I are going to stay at the hospital as long as they'll let us. I'll call when I know more.  
I, I've got to go."

The phone goes dead. Shannon let's it fall into her lap.

Morning comes by slowly the next day and Shannon wakes up from her make shift bed on Pepa's couch feeling stiff and unrested.  
She'd slept in the clothes she'd worn yesterday and had nothing else to change into.  
Heading into the bathroom she spots that she'd forgotten to wash off her make up and her face was now a mess of smudge mascara and clumpy foundation.

Shannon wash's her face with some warm water and lather of the cheap soap bar sitting on the sink.  
It does little to make her feel anymore human.

Shannon phones Carla, who must have already been in contact with Eddie and confirmed that she would be picking Christopher up from Pepa's and taking him back to his father.

Shannon then called for a taxi.

By the time it arrived Shannon had tried to talk to Chris but he had burst into tears at the sight of his mom and Shannon had left quickly to wait outside.  
She told Pepa to tell Christopher goodbye.

The taxi driver helped Shannon into the backseat, mindful of her crutches.  
He attempted once to make conversation whilst driving towards her apartment building but Shannon was in no fit state to say much of anything.  
She paid her fare, forgoing to collect the change and headed straight inside.

Her apartment was dark and there were envelopes on the floor underneath the front door.  
Shannon didn't stop to collect them and went into the bathroom.  
She stripped down slowly pulled a plastic bag over her brace and stepped into the shower turning the heat up as high as it would go and stood under the spray until the water turned cold before finally clambering out.

Shannon wrapped a towel around herself and wandered into her bedroom. She probably should have been walking without the aid of at least one crutch but she was to exhausted to go back to where they lay discarded on the bathroom floor.  
She'd regret it later for sure.

Pulling a pair of loose shorts over the brace was a task and a half. And the oversized t-shirt instantly stuck to the still wet skin of her shoulders getting tangled up with her hair.  
Frustrated Shannon sat down on the bed and huffed loudly, the sound carried in her empty apartment.

Realising that she'd left her phone with her bag got up again and hobbled down the hallway and back leaning heavily on the wall for support.  
In testament to her own stubbornness during the whole escapade she didn't go back to collect her crutches.

Returning to bed this time phone in had Shannon checked her messages.  
A text from Eddie informed her that Buck was now out of surgery but Eddie hadn't seen him as he had been kicked out with the others until visiting hours started and that Eddie was heading home to Christopher.

Shannon felt conflicted as she sat there on the bed staring at the her phone screen.  
Part of her, a large part was extremely relived that it hadn't been Eddie that had been pinned under the ladder truck. Relived because he was safe and well and whole. Relived because he wasn't dead, he hadn't left her as she had feared so often when he'd been stationed in Afghanistan.

It was a part of her that was glad someone else anyone else had been hurt. And Shannon felt so guilty at the thought.  
Did it make her a bad person that she was glad that Buck, a man who was clearly important to both her son and her husband, had been hurt.  
Hurt badly enough that there apparently still wasn't any news on his condition.

The cold gut twisting jealousy that she felt so often when being regaled stories about the infamous Buck by both the Diaz boys wormed it's way up into her chest.

Eddie had been so clearly upset yesterday on the phone. Sounding as concerned and panicked as he had when Shannon had been hit by that car just a month ago.

And it wasn't like Shannon was blind. She'd seen the lingering looks, the soft glances and near constant lack of personal space between the two men.  
She'd watched how easy Buck interacted with Christopher always quick to make the boy laugh and smile.

Shannon was jealous and it was horrible.

She fell back against her bed and threw her left arm over her face.

Was she really speculating over her technically estranged husband's relationship with his work colleague and friend?  
Was she really getting upset and angry at the idea that her husband - who she had already left once and now was asking for a divorce from - might possibly have found someone else to care about?

When Shannon woke some time later the sun was visibly high in the sky out side her window. Beams of light spilled in through the gaps of her blinds.  
She blinked at the harsh light and all but rolled of the side of the bed. She caught herself on the dresser using it as leverage to stand.

The clock on her phone said it was a quarter past two so she'd slept about seven hours since getting home.  
Rubbing her eyes with the back of one hand Shannon contemplated what to do with herself.

She tried phoning Eddie but he didn't respond, so then she tried Carla. 

Carla didn't pick up but she did send a text explaining that Eddie had taken Christopher to the hospital to see Buck.  
Shannon felt that jealousy start to creep up but she pushed it down. After asking Carla for the directions to the hospital Shannon dressed and phoned for a taxi.

It wasn't the same hospital that she'd been taken to after her accident.  
And arriving with her leg in a cast had the receptionist attempting to sign her in for an appointment Shannon didn't have. After explaining who she was there for Shannon was directed towards a visitor room.

Awkwardly Shannon paused by the entryway, it looked like Eddie's whole station and their families had crammed themselves into the small room. She felt like an intruder and was about to turn back and leave when someone bumped into her.  
Turning she found herself face to face with a tall man in his fifties that Shannon slowly recognised as Eddie's captain.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you." His hand came up to steady her shoulder.  
"It's Shannon right? Bobby Nash."

She ducked her head," I, um wanted to check up on Eddie"  
Bobby smiled softly and motions Shannon to enter the room first.

People watch her as Shannon tries and fails to descretely walk by with the use of her crutches and the thwack thwack of her brace against the lino flooring. Shannon surveys the room looking for Eddie. She spots him standing by one of the windows speaking quietly with an woman in a police officer's uniform who managed to look both elegant and intimidating.

Bobby leads Shannon over to them. He stops and drops a kiss on the police officer's cheek. Shannon notices her name tag reads 'Sergeant A. Grant'. Eddie, upon noticing his wife, gives a small forced smile. "What are you doing here?" He asks placing a gentle hand on her arm. His palm is hot and dry against her skin. His touch used to send shivers but now there's nothing.

Shannon takes in Eddie's appearance. He's got bags forming under his eyes so clearly he hasn't slept well if at all yet. His stubble has begun to grow out and his hair is un-gelled. Eddie is wearing a crumpled t-shirt and hoodie. In all Shannon has barely ever seen him so ungroomed and disheveled. Maybe those first few weeks back from Afghanistan when Eddie would wake up in cold sweats and constantly watching all his possible exits. But never before or since.

"I was worried, you didn't answer any of my calls earlier." Eddie lets his hand drop. He looks away towards the windows, watching the world outside. Beside them Bobby and Sergeant Grant have moved away slightly and are now talking lowly amongst themselves. "Sorry," Eddie is still looking away, "I think my phone's dead."

Shannon's arms start to tire holding herself up on crutches so she moves to sit down on an empty seat near by. Eddie follows. Sitting down Shannon notices a familiar backpack propped up by one of the chair legs. "Christopher is here, where is he? She asks. Eddie hums and runs a had through his hair adding to the birds nest atop his head.

"Athena's daughter," Eddie motions to Sergeant Grant, "May took Chris and the other kids to the cafeteria." Shannon purses her lips. "How is Christopher?" Eddie shrugs looking lost. "I'm not sure how much he understands of what happened."

Shannon nods, "He was really upset yesterday. We saw the news, didn't know who was hurt. Thought it was you for a while." Shannon wants to say she's glad it wasn't Eddie who had been hurt. But in all honesty that probably wouldn't go down well. So she sits and waits. Eddie doesn't answer and the conversation ends there. They wait with everyone else in the little crowded room for a good while. Eventually Christopher, accompanied by a pretty teenage girl and two boys similar to Chris' age, return candy bars in tow.

Christopher make a bee line towards his parents straight away. He's quick to hug Shannon, burying his face into her shoulder, mumbling apologies for the night before. Shannon strokes a hand up and down his back telling him it's okay, she knows he didn't mean it.

Some of Eddie's colleagues leave before anyone heard anything about Buck. Athena's shift starts shortly after her children do when their father arrives to take them home so she makes her way out with a lingering kiss to Bobby's cheek. Hen, Chimney and Bobby stay along with a dark haired woman Shannon learns is Buck's older sister, Maddie.

Maddie's eyes are red from crying and Chimney is a constant presence at her side. They would, in better circumstances make the kind of cute couple Shannon would be envious of. At how seemingly in tune they are in comparison to Eddie and herself who even at their best were never so perfectly together.

Perhaps it's because they were so young when they'd started dating. They'd certainly called fast down the rabbit hole of marriage and parenthood all while Shannon and Eddie where still growing up really. Still trying to find out who they were to themselves and each other.

A doctor comes by and takes Maddie away to talk privately. They're gone for a long time.  
Shannon watches Eddie pace the length of the room.

Everyone is on edge. Even Christopher who has set himself up by the coffee table seemingly busy colouring but every so often he pauses to look around the room. It saddens Shannon greatly to see her little boy so worried.

The atmosphere in the room changes in an instant when Maddie all but runs in face wet but smiling brightly.  
"He's awake!"

No more than three people where allowed in Buck's room at a time. Maddie of course had top priority and she'd turned to Bobby to come with her saying Buck had asked after him. It surprises Shannon that Eddie seems reluctant to see Buck. He hangs back. Like he's nervous about seeing his friend.

Hen leaves quickly after seeing her friend as does Chimney who takes Maddie with him. It takes some convincing and Shannon can tell that she'll be back to see her brother as soon as she can.  
Eddie asks Shannon to watch Christopher while he goes to join Bobby by Buck's side.  
Christopher protests, wanting to see "his Buck".  
"Why don't you go ahead Eddie, check how Buck is feeling about more visitors." An unspoken' and to see if it won't be too distressing for Christopher ' hung in the air "then I'll bring Chris in." Eddie nodded and paused to ruffle his son's hair before hurrying to Buck's room. Shannon helped Christopher gather up his colouring. He'd drawn a picture she noted, several figures all wearing similar black and yellow clothes. Squinting in concentration Shannon.

Shannon's phone buzzes, Eddie's sent a text with directions to Buck's room.  
Shannon herds her son along, their respective crutches click clacking in tandem. Chris clutches his drawings in one hand, crumpling the paper.  
Luckily Buck isn't to far from the waiting rooms.  
Shannon spots it immediately, it's hard not to. With the sliding plexiglass doors and the curtains open wide.  
Eddie sits next to Bobby on the left-hand side of the bed their backs to Shannon and Chris.  
Buck is of course on the bed, his right leg incased in plaster and held up in traction. He has some butterfly stitches over one eyebrow and nasty looking scrapes going down his cheek and jaw.

The sliding door is partially open but Shannon pushes it to the side to make it easier for her son to get through. .  
The smile on Buck's upon seeing the little boy is like a light bulb being switched on in a dark room.  
Shanno lingers in the doorway, before being offered a seat by Bobby, whilst Eddie picks up Christopher and sits back down by the bed with his son sat on his knees.

"Christopher! Hi buddy!" It's sweet really Shannon thinks as she watches her son and husband interact with Buck but it's the kind of sweet that leaves a bitter aftertaste. She's an outsider looking in on this little unit created by Eddie and Chris. She isn't needed. Why is she even here?

"Bucky, you and mommy match! " Christopher's exclaims unknowingly snapping Shannon out of her downwards spiral. Her son points between his mother's leg brace and Buck's cast, "Are you going to have crutches like me as well?"

"Yup. Should start a club the three of us, right Shannon?" Shannon blinks at him dumbfounded  
"The crutches club we should have badges." Before Shannon can collect her wits to respond Eddie pipes in.  
"Really Buck, the crutches club?" Eddie's voice is light and teasing as if he hadn't spent all morning so wound up he'd looked continuously three seconds from punching a wall.

"What it's alliteration, alliteration is cool. Back me up here someone, Bobby? Shannon?"  
Bobby just laughs from where he's standing and says, "I better go phone Athena, tell her you're awake Buck."

He claps a hand on the man's shoulders before swiftly leaving.

Christopher takes the opportunity to thrust the crumpled drawings into Buck's hands, smiling wildly.  
"These for me buddy?" Buck looks a little misty eyed as he straightens the paper out against his legs. Christopher chatters away, pointing out different details in his pictures and Eddie rests his chin on top of his son's head.

Shannon remembers the short time between Christopher's birth and Eddie's second deployment when he'd be so hesitant to even touch Christopher, to hold him, but now Eddie is so at ease with their boy, a complete removal from before. Christopher starts wriggling around and taps his dad's arm.  
"What's up superman?"  
Christopher tilts his head back, "Need a pee."

Eddie springs into action, standing quickly and settling Chris on his hip.  
"Be right back." Eddie all but jogs away.  
Shannon watches after them a moment before turning back awkwardly to Buck.  
The man in question gives her a rye smile, eyes crinkling at the corners.  
He's charming, she'll admit it, even propped up like a broken marionette puppet on the hospital bed.  
"So, how are you doing? " Shannon blinks, surprised.  
"I should be asking you that."  
Buck shrugs, then winces at the movement. He must have aggregated some injury covered by his gown.  
"Doctors think I'll walk alright. Put in a rod and six screws." He pauses and something shifts in his expression, a ripple of something sad, maybe angry even. "Won't give me any straight answers on when I'll be back to work. But at least I've still got my leg."

Shannon nods, " I'm glad you're okay, uh as okay as you can be after what happened. Eddie's been worried sick all morning. Christopher too."  
She looks down at her lap, and dusts of imaginary lint. The guilt from yesterday tears it's head knotting deep in her stomach. Forcing her to speak

"I uh, I - I'm sorry. I um was so relieved yesterday when I found out it was you and not Eddie under that truck," She confesses.  
"We saw it all on the news and for a moment I was so sure it was Eddie. And I was terrified. But then he called and said it was you and all I could think was thank God. Thank God it was someone else. Even though I know. I know that you mean so much to them. To Eddie and Christopher. They love you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Shannon wipes furiously at her eyes, and dates a look towards Buck.  
He doesn't look angry, if anything his face is concerned. Like he's worried about her. The women who just admitted to being glad he almost died.  
"For what it's worth, he says, voice low and soothing, the kind of tone one would use to try and calm a scared animal, "I'm glad it was me and not Eddie. You don't have to be sorry for that."

"I've been so jealous of you," she hiccups, "Your all Christopher talks about. His Buck this and his Buck that. I can't compete."  
Buck shakes his head, holding up a hand to stop her.  
"We're not competing, there's no competition to be had. You're his mom and Christopher loves you. You're so important to Eddie and Chris, if anything I'm the one that's jealous." He huff's a laugh.  
He twists over to the table on his right, reaching for a tissue box that sits there. Buck holds it out to her and she take one gratefully.  


Buck settles back against the bed and sighs.  
"You know what? I think the two of us should become friends." He grins, charm back full force as he redirects the conversation.  
"I bet you've got loads of stories about Eddie that be prime blackmail material."  
Shannon chuckles, just off the edge of hysterical.  
"Oh definitely."  
Buck wrangles his brow at her in a 'go on' gesture. Shannon wracks her brain a moment before launching into one of her favourite memories of Eddie from when they were young and just beginning to date.  
" Well one time, while we were still in high school..."

Eddie and Christopher arrive sometime later having made a detour to the vending machine and Eddie catching Bobby by the waiting room still on the phone to Athena, Shannon and Buck burst into fits of giggles as he walks through the door.  
Dread drops down on him like a bucket of cold water.  
"What?"  
Shannon and Buck just laugh harder.  
Christopher looks around confused as he chews on a candy bar. He holds one out to his mother, who takes it as she takes several deep breaths to compose herself.  
"Thank you baby."

Christopher hums around the food in his mouth and sits down on one of the empty chairs. He hands another bar to Buck.  
"So, what were you two laughing at" Eddie hedges looking between his wife and best friend.  
Buck snorts loudly as he unwraps his candy.  
"Shannon and I were having a bonding moment Eddie. Sharing stories. And I'm afraid it all for club members only."

Shannon smiles up amused at her husband who looks vaguely fearful. Her ribs hurt slightly from laughing and she feels lighter than before.  
She and Buck remain lock lipped on their conversation, which is clearly driving Eddie insane. So much so when Bobby returns, Eddie's red face makes him double take.

Bobby informs them that visiting hours are up and that the nurses have given some extra time but that they should probably head out soon.  
Shannon says her goodbyes quickly, touching Buck's arm lightly then hugs Christopher tight before leaving. 

She takes a taxi back to her apartment, watching L.A. fly by in the window.  
At home her crutches are leant against the arm of her couch as Shannon sits, checking her phone.  
There's a message from Eddie, wishing her luck for her therapy appointment tomorrow and thanking her for coming by the hospital in support.  
She asks if he got home okay.  
Eddie responds yes and asks if she'd still like to come to the End of Probation Ceremony next week.

Shannon smiles to herself sending back a simple affirmative reply and relaxes back switching on the TV and flicks through the channels avoiding the news. Shannon has little excitement for therapy but today had been better than she could of expected.  
She holds on to that feeling knowing tomorrow will likely suck and debates the pros and cons of ordering take out for dinner.


End file.
